Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
