Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This gyro tastes like lonliness
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
