She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
