i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
