I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
