Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
