We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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