I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
