Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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