he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
