i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
