...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
