he thought i was a dude.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
