All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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