Do vagina's smell?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
