Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
