I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
