it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
