Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
