I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
