...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
