Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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