I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
