Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
