I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
