spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
