wat bout pragnant strippers??
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
