oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
