I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
