I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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