A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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