Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
