I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
