Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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