I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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