Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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