You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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