is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
