Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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