I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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