Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
