I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
