Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
