"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
