In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
