just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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