i don't plan on having that self control this summer
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
