You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
