I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
