Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
