I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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