just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
